I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
