Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
