does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
