I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
