i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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