Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
