she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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