Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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