i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We're too hungover to prance.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
