What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
