I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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