I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Boobs speak an international language.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
