no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
