No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
