The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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