I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She even gives head with a lisp.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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