their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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