if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
