i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The power of my boobs compel you
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
