when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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