it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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