so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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