I wish I could teleport
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
