its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
