I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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