tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
