She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
