You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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