how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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