Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hippo gnu deer
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
