I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
