He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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