And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
