K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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