i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
