she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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