Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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