OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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