What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
