Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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