Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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