hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
