so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
