i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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