I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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