STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
