Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
