so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
