You're completely useless in the revolution.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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