told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
