Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
