i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
