Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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