I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
