I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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