windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize