when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
