This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
did i just pee glitter
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