Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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