there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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