You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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