actually, I'm a sock model
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
