the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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