She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
