so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
