I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
