I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He felt like a one man threesome
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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