Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
handjob tips. give me some.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
