does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
