remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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