I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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