I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
